Issue No. 17: Notes From The Studio
Mental Health, New Art Sales, + What I’m Working on Now
If you’re here because you saw my Instagram Reel today, welcome and thank you — xo. If you’ve been a subscriber for a while, like back when I started the first iteration of this newsletter in my blogging days, you already know a lot of personal things about me and my past. One of those things is that I’ve had issues with anxiety ever since I was a child. It got really bad after I gave birth to my son, and I finally sought help and started taking medication to treat it.
A few years ago I had to switch medications, which can be common. Often what works at the beginning starts to wane over time. Plus when perimenopause hits and estrogen starts its descent, all kinds of things start changing.
I recently checked my calendar and in just 51 days I will officially be in menopause. Menopausal? However we’re supposed to express it, I feel like we should all get medals or something.
Over the past few months, I’ve noticed my anxiety levels rising again. Some of it has been in response to personal stressors — like my son starting at a traditional high school when he’s been attending a non-academic Sudbury school for most of his life. Honestly, this one life change alone is enough to raise anxiety levels through the roof! He entered a classroom this year for the first time since he was 7 years old and I was so stressed out for him. It’s a HUGE change and a lot of adjustment for him, as well as for my husband and me. Plus, since he goes to school in America, there’s the “background anxiety” that comes with the possibility of school shootings. And mall shootings, which happened at “his” mall this summer. And anywhere shootings, really.
Then there are the stressors that I’ve grown accustomed to over the years, like financial anxiety (always an ebb and flow ever since I became self-employed in 2012), world news and politics (always shit), the glaring differences of worldviews that especially show up during election season, and the American gun culture (which I have a personal story about that happened when I was a teenager that still haunts me to this day). For starters.
There’s also the self-doubt that often comes with having a creative career — questioning myself, my art, my place in the “art world”, “is it okay that I paint ___ AND ___?”, etc.
Bear with me if you’re here for the art and my recent relief…I swear it’s coming…
So anyway, take all of this and put the hormonal changes of menopause on top of it. Oh yeah, plus moving this summer — to two places, an apartment and my studio — which is always stressful. And then add in that my antidepressant/anti-anxiety medication has stopped working again — I’ve experienced levels of anxiety that I haven’t had since before I started taking medication for the first time. And there you have me for the past few months.
There have been some good times and even some super productive times lately. But there have also been days when I couldn’t bring myself to leave my apartment. Like it felt unbearable. I just couldn't do it. And days when I barely made it into my studio and just spent the day sitting in my chair without so much as lifting a paintbrush. Days when I laid in bed crying over thoughts and doubts that I can’t even remember now. It’s been really rough.
Then there was yesterday.
One of my dearest friends is visiting from Germany right now. This month marks the 16th year of our friendship. She stays with my cousin when she is in town and is usually here for about three weeks. The last time I saw her was in 2022, but it feels like we were never apart. It’s one of those rare kinds of friendships that was instant and deep.
Yesterday we spent a few hours together — simply sitting and talking.
We didn’t go anywhere. We didn’t do anything. We didn’t look at our phones — except to share photos of things that we were talking about. We didn’t rush. We didn’t have to discuss or deal with any minutia of our day.
We were completely present for each other.
No one person “had the floor” — you know what I mean, when you meet up or talk with someone and it’s mostly about you or them? We were equals. We each had time and space and room to share.
It felt decadent and glorious, which me kind of sad — since it seems like it happens so irregularly that it felt decadent and glorious. I also felt better than I had in quite some time. While I have talked to my husband about many of the things that I chatted with my friend about, we also have to tackle the everydayness of life which can often get in the way of long, deep, present conversations.
I know that one conversation won’t cure everything that’s ailing me. Luckily I have a doctor’s appointment next month to try to at least get my medication sorted, if not world peace. But it was a good reminder of how important it is to spend a few hours with a friend in person.
We’ve grown so accustomed to having relationships through our screens, whether we’re FaceTiming with a loved one who lives across the world or texting with a friend we’ve only ever met online.
Usually, my only communication with people who live outside of my household happens on my phone. I rarely see others in real life. A lot of times this is by choice — I’m an artist and an introvert and I value my alone time. But this can also be to my detriment. I have to remember how important and healing it is to spend quality time in person with my friends. Something that used to be so commonplace and ingrained in my daily life.
TWO ART SALES THIS MONTH
On to the art! First up, I am having a 20% off sale in my online gallery right now! The sale code is 20NOW and it is valid through Monday, October 21st. This sale includes new paintings that I recently added to my online gallery after picking them up from their time at Capers. I haven’t decided if I’m going to share the sale on social media or not, but you are welcome to share this newsletter with your friends. Sale pricing includes complimentary local delivery or free continental U.S. shipping if you aren’t near the Seattle area. All art purchased at sale pricing is final.
My next art sale is an online event that I’m participating in with Sorelle Gallery in Westport, Connecticut. Here’s a preview of my collection that will be available for purchase through the gallery from October 23rd-25th. If there is painting that you particularly love I encourage you to Favorite the artwork on the Sorelle Gallery site and sign up for their email newsletter so you will get a reminder when the sale has launched. I will also personally send a quick reminder email to you the day before the sale. Sorelle Gallery will donate a percentage of the proceeds from the sale to the Breast Cancer Research Fund.
WHAT’S NEXT
As I mentioned in my last newsletter I’ve worked on three different collections in my studio this year. I’ve really been enjoying that way of working — creating several paintings that fit together in a certain theme, color palette, or story.
Lately I’ve been thinking about how I want to expand my view of what a collection means to me. How I want to creatively explore the places I feel most inspired by or peaceful in — from aerial views, architecture, the overall “picture” of a place and it’s color palettes all the way down to the smallest details found on plants, stones, and seashells. Going from big to small is how we often experience life itself, and I want to keep sharing thoughts and emotions through the titles of my artwork.
If you’re still reading, thank you! I know this was a long one. As always, be sure to get in touch if you have any questions about my art or anything else. Thank you for being here!
xo,
Melanie
Thanks for reading Melanie Biehle Art! Subscribe for free to receive new posts and support my work. You’ll also receive a one-time code for 15% off any original painting in my online gallery when you subscribe.
Really feeling this one. Sending you love and ease during all of this 💜
I’m wishing you the very best Melanie. I only met you the one time but could tell right away that you were a special person, not to mention a fantastic artist. You absolutely belong in the art world.
You take care of yourself.